Formal letter: Self Introduction
Dear Professor,
I hope that by the end of the letter, you get to know a thing or two about me. My name is Aleeya and I am 20 years of age this year. Since I was a kid, I was always encouraged to do what I love and that was something I held on to until I had to pick my major in university. Mechanical Engineering was the course I wanted to pursue due to my interest in Mathematics as well as my love for F1 and cars.
I made a choice to study Engineering when I first entered Polytechnic. It was a tough decision at first because I was not sure if it was the right course. However, I took the risk and got into mechanical engineering. In my 3 year course of study, having to work with many schoolmates challenged my communication skills because even though I have strong verbal communication skills, I have always been an indecisive person as well.
Being able to read the situation while having active listening ears has allowed me to be a charismatic and concise speaker. However, as much as I know how to engage with the people I am speaking to, I am really indecisive about what I want to say. Understanding the concept of critical thinking is really something I need to work on because it helps to straighten out my thoughts and I can deliver my message across clearly.
Growing up, I have always avoided empathizing with people as it gets overwhelming and I get too emotional at times. Even though I avoid getting so immersed in someone’s story, I still try to give my undivided attention to them. Due to that, I socialise with people lesser as I grow older.
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. Hopefully, you got to learn something interesting about me and understand the kind of person I am!
Yours truly,
Aleeya Jasmin
(edited 19/9)
Hello Aleeya, I am Kelvin. I will be leaving a feedback on your formal letter of introduction.
ReplyDeleteI noticed that you are using a lot of unnecessary caps in your letter For example, the sentence However, I took the risk and got into Mechanical Engineering does not require mechanical engineering to be in caps.
There seems to be a sentence fragment in your second last paragraph. The sentence It gets overwhelming and I get too emotional at times is not a completed sentence as there is no subject. Maybe it would have been better if you were to combine both sentences into one.
Overall, I think it was a well written letter for your first attempt. Looking forward to seeing your improvements by the end of the module.
Hi Kelvin, thank you for your feedback! I will edit and revise on it.
DeleteDear Aleeya,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the detailed letter. I appreciate the content aligned with the brief and the fairly clear organization. You certainly share with us in terms of your character and comm skills weakness and strengths. I'm not sure I see your goals though.
I find it interesting that you feel that socializing can be a problem because you become too immersed in a person's 'story.' That seems to suggest that you empathize too much, contrary to waht you have said about not doing so. :)
In terms of language use, this is a good effort.
I look forward to reading more of your writing this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Dear Prof Brad,
DeleteThank you for taking your time to read my letter! I would be sure to edit and fill in the gaps of my letter.
Sincerely,
Aleeya
Hi Aleeya, I am Raizan. I've read your letter and it was well written. Keep up the good writing!
ReplyDeleteHello Raizan! Thank you for taking the time to read my letter :)
DeleteHello Aleeya, Ridhwan here. Glad to know more about you through this letter. Your letter is very clear, concise and very informative. I like the way you elaborated on your weaknesses in communication. Overall, it is a very well-written letter.
ReplyDeleteHi Ridhwan, thank you for taking your time to read my letter and leaving a positive feedback on it!
Delete